So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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