I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize