TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
