i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
