mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
