Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
