Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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