Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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