Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize