well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
