Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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