He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
What a fucking waste of an outfit
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
