Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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