why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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