Having a random hookup so left but love u
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
