what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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