so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
