I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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