ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The power of my boobs compel you
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
