So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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