we have officially lost it.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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