why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
