you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
