Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
