i will never coherently bang her
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
organizing the empties. That sober.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
