She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
