On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
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