so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
