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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he thought i was a dude.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
