Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
