I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize