So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
