Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
