Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
