from now on my penis is your penis
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize