Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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