well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
