I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
