How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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