mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
