Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
