We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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