all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
