if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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