i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I lost the right to judge tonight
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
