we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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