his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
there is puke in my bra ... again
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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