I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
