It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
