Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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