My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I cannot find my penis.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
