is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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