were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Is it penis luge time yet?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Randomize
