She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
