Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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