Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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