y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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