I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
