For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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