I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
