What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Randomize
