billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize