I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
