the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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