Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
