i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
