he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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