I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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