but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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