using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
