Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
