My brain says no but my pants say off.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
