you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
