Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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