the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
