Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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